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The following is a portion of a scene from the movie Bladerunner:

Holden: You’re in a desert, walking along when –
Leon: What one?
Holden: What?
Leon: What desert?
Holden: Doesn’t matter what desert it is, it’s completely hypothetical.
Leon: Well, how come I’d be there?
Holden: Maybe you’re fed up. Maybe you just wanted to get away from it all. Anyway. You’re in a desert, walking along when you look down and you see a tortoise, Leon. It’s crawling toward you.

I was listening to Stardancer’s piece on the latest episode of Epic Dolls just last night, specifically the part about role-playing your character and having a reason to be in a particular zone other than the fact that the last quest brought you there.

In terms of role-playing, that’s absolutely necessary. Without it, your answer to the question of “What brings you here?” would always be something like:

“Well, I was on a journey to help with the defense of the land when some woman stopped me and asked me to help her get some meat for her pie.”

“Is she a relative of yours?”

“Well, no.”

“So you traveled weeks to get here to the coast in order to catch crabs to make pie for a woman you don’t even know?”

“Seems that way. Oh, but wait, also some guy lost his watch in a house about fifty miles from here. He said it’s surrounded by wolves.”

“A watch?”

“Well, it’s more of a family heirloom.”

“You’re going to risk being eaten by wolves to get a watch for some guy? Where does he live?”

“I’m not sure. I met him on the road.”

“You’re a strange person.”

So, if you’re a role-player, why would you have ended up in whatever zone you’re in? Would your character really have traveled to the other side of the world because he or she cared about some goblins who needed parts to make a racing car? Would your character really swim through murloc-infested waters just so two lovers can make out together in the woods?

Or is it more consistent with your character that he or she might be there because they’ve heard that the coast has the most beautiful beaches in all of Azeroth? Because you’ve heard that the dwarves in the mountains there make the most potent ale? Or is it because you committed a horrible crime in the last area you were in and there is a bounty on your head?

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My need to possess you has consumed my soul.

My need to possess you has consumed my soul.

I made a post a few days ago about how Elsinne didn’t have a purpose in the world. She was a young elf wandering the world, enjoying her lonely freedom after the destruction of Silvermoon seven years ago. When I created her name, I thought it was completely original; I did not realize there were other Starsongs in the game. There are a few, but the most interesting one is Velinde Starsong, the night elf sentinel.

Elsinne was the only blood elf Starsong to survive the Scourge invasion, but clearly there are now some very distant night elf Starsongs. What does that mean for Elsinne? Well, this is how I imagine some recent events may have played out.

Elsinne visits Ratchet. Learning her name through a conversation, a goblin tells her that another Starsong was through there some years ago, a night elf, on her way to the Eastern Kingdoms. The night elf called Starsong was looking for someone. Arriving in Booty Bay some time later, Elsinne confirms with Baron Revilgaz, who never forgets a face, that indeed a night elf by the name of Starsong was there. Elsinne learns that Velinde Starsong was searching for assistance with the Scythe of Elune, a powerful artifact that could summon worgen.

Elsinne would not be at all interested in her night elf ancestry, but her hatred of the centaur of Kalimdor has given her an idea. What if she could find out more about what happened to Velinde? What if she could gain access to this scythe? What if she could control the worgen? The vile centaur could be removed from the face of this world forever.

And thus would begin her obsession.

Searching for Velinde, searching for the Scythe, searching for information. I am imagining that this could RP very well, given that there are libraries everywhere. There are many learned scholars all over Azeroth. I know that the quest chain ends with Velinde and the Scythe disappearing, but this gives much for Elsinne to learn and search for. And since this whole Scythe business continues on into Northrend in Grizzly Hills, this could be a long time sorting out!

Last night I learned a very important lesson.

Polly is a meanie.

Polly is a meanie.

The Barrens + being sleepy + not bothering to read quest text = painful and embarrassing death.

I completed Ghostlands and recently visited Sylvanas Windrunner and Thrall to secure the Blood Elves’ place in the Horde. I was a bit proud of myself. I made my way out to Tarren Mill to see if they needed help. Apparently they do, but most of the quests available there are level 22 and up. Being only level 21, it seemed like a good idea to see what was available in Kalimdor and gain a level or two.  

I don’t like the Barrens. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s not just because of the infamous Barrenschat. I sincerely just don’t like the zone. Without a mount it’s pure torture and the quest lines just aren’t very compelling. And zebra unicorns just aren’t very interesting. Questing in the Barrens feels like work. So my goal is to get the level or two that I need and then get out.

After shamelessly and unquestioningly slitting a few raptor throats for some goblin I’d just met, I decided to undergo my third lockpicking quest in Ratchet. This is where things went downhill in a hurry.

The quest (Plundering the Plunderers) was to bring back a treasure from a pirate ship. Easy peasy, right? Knock off a couple of hopeless pirate wannabes, loot the treasure, and get out. Sadly, this would have been the case had I bothered to actually read the quest text.

I jumped into the pirate ship, which was completely empty, by the way. It seemed that the pirates weren’t especially interested in guarding their treasure. Down at the bottom level of the ship, the unguarded treasure chest glittered in the corner. A couple of seconds of lockpicking and … what? The chest is empty? And there is now a giant parrot named Polly blocking my exit?

Four hits later, I was dead, shredded by Polly. No wonder there were no pirates guarding the treasure. They simply weren’t needed. I would discover later that Polly was, in fact, level 50 and was toying with me. Though sleepy, I decided I’d better read the quest text this time.

I was too lazy to go all the way back to my corspe so I spirit rezzed. Oops. I didn’t get the anti-parrot item from the goblin robot thing. Okay, done. Well, I didn’t really need to wait until the death debuff ran out, did I? I can just give the parrot the treat. Yeah.

I opened the chest. Yay! Still empty!? Polly showed up again, more angry than the first time. I tossed the crackers it. Polly was reduced to level 18 but … I had to fight it … with rez sickness.

We both died together. It wasn’t pretty. So I ran back to my corpse and then looted Polly’s mangled but glittering bird body for the treasure! Carbonite would congratulate me: Quest complete! (As a side note, can I get a female voice for Carbonite?)

So what are today’s lessons, boys and girls?

Don’t play while half awake. You won’t read your quest text and bad things will happen. Very bad things.  Also, get over your rez sickness before getting involved with quests. Otherwise, even more bad things will take place.

Please continue to pray for me as I emotionally deal with the Barrens.

October 2017
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October 2017
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