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It's not easy being green.

It's not easy being green.

Some of the kind folk in Thunder Bluff asked me if I would accompany them on a supply run to Camp Mojache, Feralas. I tried to find an excuse not to go, but the tauren have a way about them that makes them seem needy. Not needy in a weak way, but in a way that makes you just want to hug them and tell them that it will all be okay. But it never really is, is it?

The centaur haven’t been harassing the transport caravans from Thunder Bluff lately, but you never can tell when one of those wretched centaur has managed to round up a few of his bloodthirsty friends. The tauren requested that I scout ahead for them.

The trip took a couple of weeks. The worst part was probably the lack of any good bathing spots. I am pretty sure we all smelled like jungle gorillas when we finally rolled into Camp Mojache. I was swimming naked in Wildwind Lake before I even bothered to greet anyone.

In spite of the fact that there is the constant threat of attack by gnolls or Grimtotem clan people, the jungle of Feralas is one of the most serene places I have ever been. This is mostly due to the military guidance of Rok Orhan. That is one orc woman to be reckoned with.

It has been warm but not excessively humid. On the occasions where there has been rainfall, it was cool and pleasant.

I have been here now for several days and I’ve been able to get some thinking done. That wasn’t the purpose of my visit (Cairne promised me a hundred gold for assisting) but it has been a welcome by product.

female_orc_war_800x600At first I wasn’t going to make this post because it wasn’t really important. In fact, it still isn’t important but I do find it interesting.

WordPress is kind enough to tell you exactly what people are searching on when they end up on your blog. Now by far, most people have stumbled across my blog because they are hunting for the ever-elusive time-lost proto drake that is rumored to float around Storm Peaks occasionally. I spent a good bit of time trying to find this mythical beast myself, but I was never able to and I gave up eventually. But I digress.

Behind the time-lost proto drake, the second most popular search is some combination of orc + female + sex. Sometimes it’s orc + female, sometimes it’s female + orc + sex … you get the picture. This is a surprise to me, not because I have anything against female orcs, but because I would have figured that the average person would have found blood elf females or night elf females, or even hippy draenei females more desirable to search on. But this is simply not the case. Searches for the female orc are considerably more popular than any other race. Why is that?

Is there more orc-girl lust out there than people prefer to admit to? Is it the rippling muscles or the playful yet threatening pony tails? Is it the large teeth? The glistening green skin? I have a few searches for “orc female pictures”. I have no such searches for the other races.

But this post isn’t to make fun of the lady orcs. They’re people, too, and beautiful in their own right.

The next time you are in-game and you meet that sexy female orc in Orgrimmar at the bank, don’t be shy. Walk right up to her and tell her how lovely she’s looking today. She might take your head off, but look at the bright side. If she loves you, she’ll love you for life (and may the Earthmother be with you if you cheat on her).

August 2017
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